Adoption Transference - one more reason why your kid hates you....

Do you feel like your child punishes you for the hurts he has experienced in the past?
 
Target – parents who want to understand why the child can’t be grateful or happy with them
 
Even if the child doesn’t recall the neglect, the abuse, or the abandonment, the child or youth will still have emotional feelings about the experiences and events and will take that out on the adoptive parents. 
 
Impact on the family - usually, this presents as anger (rages), non-compliance, and general acting out. The child may target the mother more than other family members and this can leave the mom in the family feeling isolated and blamed. 
 
Anticipated outcome – 
 
a)    targeted moms will understand the dynamic and not take on the blame
b)    the parents will function as a team 
c)    the couple relationship will not weaken from the *mother blaming*
d)    therapy can be directed at helping the child gain a sense of past and present in relation to feeling experiences =ow":��wʩ�

Adoption transference: Why your kid hates you.

Why do you hate me when all I've done is love you?

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